God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you have two wings to fly, not one.
- Rumi

I went outside around 8:15 PM tonight to look for meteors. It was dark. There on the bench of the deck lay the wooden sword. I picked it up, faced south. The moon hung in that direction, glimmering, approaching first quarter. I raised the sword high and paused, experiencing that. I slowly brought it down to horizon level, bisecting the moon. Moonlight glinted off the sword, my hands, my arms. White light. The air was temperate, a breeze stirring. The whisper of dry autumn leaves rustling against each other. A cat started screaming, a howling crescendo in the distance. Dogs barked at the sound. I held steady, looking up at zenith, at dim stars, then down again at the straight line of light reflecting from my arms and sword. The cat stopped. I breathed the night air, the stars and light, holding the sword outward. Then, I permitted the weight to drop, my arms and the sword pointing downward, between my feet. And I felt quiet. Grounded.

I did an “en garde”, a playful lunge at the moon, then carefully lay the sword on the bench.

A poem I wrote some time ago:


love isn’t a word that
i can say
love isn’t a word that
i can say
love isn’t a word.
It isn’t a word.
It isn’t a word.

red brake lights
reflect on
a wet night road

11-4-02

Truth isn’t that moment when you finally give in
and decide to conform to the rules

truth isn’t that moment when
it’s just too much trouble to chew through the restraints

(author of that gem unknown)

truth isn’t that moment
when you seek help to fix what makes you different

truth isn’t when you politely ignore
the repeated tweaks, shocks, and torments

your spouse or parent delivers
smiling and saying I love you as the cattle prod makes contact

truth isn’t pretending
there's no lion in the room as you step into its crap

truth isn’t a destructive fire
that runs amok across your life

truth is a flame
it burns steady and cool

the fire
in the lotus

truth’s fire heals
its touch a passionate balm.

I am the most sane person I know
crazy as I am.