This is in memory of bus trips
or perhaps men on buses
the first when I was 5
overdressed in petticoats and patent leather shoes
Lafayette to New Orleans
the bus crowded, my mother and sister way in the back
the man with the white hair
let me hold his heavy gold watch chain
I felt safe and slept against his vest.

When I was 16, Baton Rouge to Lafayette,
the wizened man with cataracts
and a brown plastic jesus in the ribbon of his hat.
He carried dozens of tiny pads of pastel papers
every single sheet rubber-stamped by hand
messages to share about God and Love
and messages for me.

at 21
the boy my age with his guitar
he got off after only the first leg of a long journey across Washington, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming
miles of unbroken moonlit snow
the towns with their Christmas lights
and bars and churches, bars and churches
I kept his address many years in my book
I never wrote
afraid to not hear back
or afraid I would.

at 52
Zurich to Ebmatingen
the goth of 18 with his guitar
his wrist wrapped with gauze
oozing blood from a fresh tattoo
my God a beautiful soul in black
with halting English
a short-order job
and the seed of an impossible possible dream
he pressed his ipod to my ear
I listened to his favorite songs
and it was hard to tear away at my stop
he didn’t stop talking to let me go

at 52
Singen to Zurich
the equinox
and hurricanes on my mind
the silent man
with what the Sumerians called ‘eyes of life’
staring from across the aisle
at times kindly
at times defended
he had a foot in each of two worlds
and I, defended in my own world,
did not make room for this man,
nor did he ask, yet he is the one I write,
who silently pats me on the back.

of course there are women on buses
poignant stories for another time
all with themes of escape
or the rescue of broken children.

I’m told at one and a half
I was found by a neighbor I didn’t know
at the city bus stop at the end of Fernhill Street
with nothing but a diaper
and the housekeeper’s purse and umbrella.

I didn’t make it onto the bus that day
but I’m still so restless to go.