On the other hand--maybe it is about the drink, about the cigarette itself. The pleasurable effects of alcohol or nicotine on the body. Maybe it is about the intriguing uniqueness of the person on the pedestal. Maybe the conversant license plates are a way to externalize your own hopes and fears, and washing your hands 30 times a day does keep you healthier. Talking nonstop gives a transient feeling of power over a roomful of people. Why not be obsessed? A complete set of 19th century Canadian coins has more value than two or three favorites--and perhaps brings more satisfaction.

Experts weigh in, developing opposing schools of thought and treatment: A) The pain and strangeness of your existence is a medical disorder, not at all your fault, we have just the pill for you, fix you in a jiffy. B) No, it’s a story unfolding, the symptoms are the clues. Pills just obscure the clues. C) Leave me alone while I enjoy the moment of my compelling habits.

We shape and reshape the shimmering complexity of unshaped story. An entertaining sometimes painful game for the theorist within. Existence, this writing, an entertaining mind game.

But the heart, the carnelian, is where the wordless answer lies.